Sunday, December 4, 2011

I wouldn't, if I were you.....

http://www.alternet.org/belief/153295/2_shocking_attacks_on_atheism_--_and_how_atheists_fought_back/?page=entire

I scream, you scream, we all scream....for hate crimes?

Last month in Missouri, the speakers were lined up and the streets were packed with the attendees of "Skepticon". (http://skepticon.org)

A local business owner decided to take a break and wander down the street to the event and have a listen for himself. He wandered down and heard one of the speakers commenting on Christianity and it's faithful and the wheels quite literally came off.  He went back to his small business, grabbed the first piece of cardboard and marker he could find and fashioned this little gem and hung it in his shop window.

Apparently, the word of one speaker, for a mere handful of minutes, incited this kind of response.  

Now, I get it - believe me. When it comes to running off at the mouth (or the keyboard ) I am the FIRST to say that I'm in need of some good cool-down time before I comment on most things. When I have ignored that and spouted off, I find myself wishing I hadn't.  The internet is a wonderful and horrific place where some of our worst mistake and callous words will live on in infamy.

Having said that, how on Earth did this seem like a good idea? As Atheists, are we not constantly accused of thinking X, Y and Z about "all christians"? Don't they just automatically assume that if you're a believer we hate you or don't understand you and your complex faith and thus we just decide to call it a day and call ourselves atheists? Of course not. So WHY would someone assume based on a few words of 1 person speaking at an event, that anyone at Skepticon is not worthy of patronizing your business?

The thing I have the biggest problem with is the elaborate apology that was issued. Apparently, the fact that the sign was "only up for 10 minutes" and the fact that he probably made a killing that weekend thanks to those very skeptics, should mean that we should somehow let this go.

In my eyes though, this is a hate crime.  Had this sign said "Christian's are not welcome in my Atheist business" or "Blacks, Jews, Asians are not welcome in my business", "Women are not welcome in my business" would we be having the same discussion?  Hell no we wouldn't. If it were ANY other group of people we'd be outraged as a society that someone thought it was ok to put such hateful words into action and actually post it in the window of the business.  Namely  a small business who we've been hearing so much about lately.  Someone who literally bit the hand that feeds him, issues an apology and tries to pacify us with weak excuses and this is ok? It most certainly is not. This is the wording of the law
Discrimination on the basis of religion is prohibited by law in the area of public accommodation.
Businesses that offer services to the public, whether privately or publicly owned, are subject to anti-discrimination laws.
All individuals, regardless of their religion, are entitled to the same goods and services without discrimination or segregation.
There are recourse procedures for discriminatory acts.
These procedures may include civil actions.
Those who believe they have been discriminated against, must be aware of mandatory time frames for filing complaints.
If you feel that you have been discriminated against, we encourage you file a complaint with the Mayor's Commission on Human Rights and Community Relations.
-- Kelly Johnson, vice chair of the Mayor's Commission on Human Rights and Community Relations.
"All persons shall be entitled to the full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, and accommodations of any place of public accommodation, as defined in this section, without discrimination or segregation on the ground of race, color, religion, or national origin."
-- Section 2000a of Title 42, Chapter 21 of the U.S. Code

His apology

To the World:
Hello, my name is Andy and I’m the owner of Gelato Mio, a gelato shop located in Springfield, Missouri. There has been quite a lot of buzz and discussion concerning a picture of the sign I briefly posted in my front window Saturday evening. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell my story and offer a heartfelt apology to your community. I messed up, plain and simple. This is NOT an excuse, but how it happened from my perspective.
I decided to welcome the convention downtown by offering the attendees 10% off their purchases at my store. A lot of the group from the convention were stopping by, being very polite and enjoying my Gelato. Saturday night started out as a great night. Once the store slowed down, I decided to walk down the street to learn more about the convention, fully thinking it was something involving UFOs (“skeptics”). What I saw instead was a man conducting a mock sermon, reading the bible and cursing it. Instead of saying “Amen”, the phrase was “god damn”. Being a Christian, and expecting flying saucers, I was not only totally surprised but totally offended. I took it very personally and quickly decided in the heat of the moment that I had to take matters into my own hands and let people know how I felt at that moment in time.
So, I went quickly back to my business, grabbed the first piece of paper I could find, wrote the note and taped it in my front window. This was an impulsive response, which I fully acknowledge was completely wrong and unacceptable. The sign was posted for about 10 minutes or so before I calmed down, came to my senses, and took it down. For what it’s worth, nobody was turned away. I strongly believe that everybody is entitled to their beliefs. I’m not apologizing for my beliefs, but rather for my inexcusable actions. I was wrong.
Guys, I really don’t know what else I can do to express my apologies. I’ve received dozens of calls and hundreds of emails since the incident, and have done my best to reply to each and every one and express my regret for what happened. For the thousands of you whom I’ve offended, I sincerely apologize. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. This is me as a human being sincerely apologizing for my actions.
To those of you who accept my apology, Thank You; it means a lot. To those of you who haven’t, I hope you will. I’m just a 28 year old small business owner who made a big mistake. I hope you see that I have not made any excuses, I’ve owned up to what I did, and I apologize.
For what it’s worth, an Atheist reached out to me to help me work through all of this and contact your community directly. I graciously accepted his offer.
I will give everyone who comes to my store this week 10% off as a token of my apology. Really, what’s more universal than ice cream?
Sincerely, Andy

I understand the act of forgiveness. I applaud those of you who can accept this apology.  All I see here is a snarky cutesy attempt to make light of ignorant and hateful behavior.  Perhaps if being an atheist were easier it wouldn't sting so bad. Perhaps if I wasn't confronted daily with explaining why I believe facts, if I didn't have to explain the fact that I don't believe things just because I'm told to, I'd feel differently.  As a christian though, he's completely oblivious, in my opinion. Once word of this spreads he's probably be a local hero.  It's too bad. For once people should take themselves out and look at this objectively.  He selected a group of people to discriminate against. Sure he says nobody was turned away but, why are we to believe the word of a bigot covering his own ass?

Please stop. Please think. Please consider that just as 1 militant Christian doesn't represent all of Christianity, 1 speaker doesnt' represent all of the skeptics.  If we look beyond private beliefs and learn more about each other as people, maybe the hate can stop. It has to start somewhere though and that place is clearly not, Gelato Mio.

My Scarlet Letter

Within the last few days on my personal Facebook, I have been contacted both directly and in a pretty passive aggressive nature, with regards to my "atheist propaganda".  I was begged to "stop" and it was inferred that because my opinion was different and I spoke passionately about it, I was going out of my way to be a bitch and call every christian, stupid. So I posted the following note and whose of you who have cause to write something similar are more than welcome to alter this to your will or simply provide you with inspiration.

I realize I may have offended a few of you in the last few weeks.  While I do respect everyone's right to believe what they want, I do not want to censor myself for fear of offending the masses.

I am an atheist, I write an atheist blog. Becoming an atheist was a very long, though tough journey for me and I have never felt freer than I do now. Having said that, if my posts offend you then I am more than happy to censor who can see them. To those of you who made your feelings known, thank you. I will try to pause and wait until I can communicate my feelings about certain topics artfully, instead of my typical way which is to see something *I* find offensive and then reposting it with the exact explatives that are going through my head at any given moment.  Please let me know if you wish to be blocked from such posts (private message is fine, no explanation needed). There are 2 people I spoke 2 privately and they are already on this list. I hold no ill will toward anyone who wishes not to see these posts, I love you all :)

The only thing I do ask is that, if I am to censor myself - please check yourself. I don't care what you post on your own walls but please don't come to mine with the express intent of preaching your faith.  I'm well aware of the tenants of your faith and in some cases, more so than you are. I am not a completely uneducated person who just woke up and decided to be an antagonistic ass.  If I see something I don't like on yours, I can delete it from my news feed and call it a day. Facebook makes it very simple for people to remain friends and interact and ignore topics that might cause controversy.

I realize this is a touchy subject but the fact of the matter is, that it's my life now.  And yes, I'm sure as I acclamate myself to being a non-beliver in a believers world, my outspoken cander may die down (not likely but possible). To those of you who I may have offended I am truly sorry, that was not my intent and when I comment on an article I am speaking simply about the group of people mentioned in that article or people of a similar mentality.

Many of you are sweet, wonderful, loving caring christians. Please don't think that I don't know that and respect it.

Hopefully, if we can communicate our feelings without making others feel attacked, then the lines of communication won't seem so unattainable. Keep leading to good fight, freethinkers.

Peace, K
 

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Racism and hate are alive and well at Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church!

It's so nice that in 2011 I can log into my computer and see the heartwarming story of a Baptist church in Kentucky who voted (not even a week ago) that:


anyone is welcome to attend services, but interracial couples could not become members or be "used in worship services or other church functions."
Well, I'm sure this was some barbaric backroom vote that the congregation wasn't aware of. If I were a congregant there, I'd be royally pissed. Where does a church get off taking the choice of congregants away from the parishioners? But wait! That's not the way of it:
The vote by members last Sunday was 9-6, Harville said. It was taken after the service, which about 35 to 40 people attended. Harville said many people left or declined to vote.
You want to know what the problem with this country is? I'll tell you. It's THIS exact thing. It's not the church, the christians, the atheists, the blacks, the whites, the polka dot people. It's the people who "left or declined to vote".  We're all so quick to blame each other but when the time comes for us to have a choice or a say, the majority cops out.

I'm all for picking and choosing biblical quotes to support or shoot down an argument. In a book that full of hypocrisy it's easy to do but there is one general assumption that I make unilaterally about christians and it's also the thing that I have the hardest time with.  Love.  Beyond anything else that I believe personally, people flock to christianity for love. Their love of god, their love of the message, his love for them - most any way you break it down god's message is supposed to be "love".  So why, in 2011 are we condeming people for who they love.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."Galatians 3:28
"The Lord does not look at the things men look at. Men look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart"1 Samuel 16:7
"God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right."Acts 10:34-35
Now, I'm sure there's all kinds of verses that you can point to to show me that god is right on course with all of this and as I said before, that's the beauty of the hypocrisy in the bible, there's something in there that suites everyone's arguments.

So I ask again, how is this right?

A woman I know married the man she thought was the love of her life. They got married, in a huge, beautiful Catholic affair. It was a storybook wedding. 9 months later they were separated and never saw their 1 year anniversary together. My friend picked up the pieces and moved on. She fell in love with another and they have a beautiful child together. My friends new husband is a hard working, ethical, loving, compassionate, faithful man who would never break her heart again. And he's black.

The fact that this country (and christians at large because they are the majority of the outspoken) believes it can tell people who it can and cannot love it absolutely against the most basic of christian teachings.

I just don't understand why it matters, who you love. Love god, love boys, love girls, love blacks, whites and asians. Just LOVE. Isn't it supposed to make us better people?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Reality of an Athiest's mortality


There are times, Christian community at large, that you seriously overestimate how easy it is to be a non-believer. 

In my “early” days of atheism, I actually thought that this would be easy. I knew what I knew and I could scientifically prove my stance and those who didn’t want to listen could piss off because I didn’t care. I’m also though, the kind of atheist who doesn’t wear it on her sleeve. I believe what I want - you believe what you want. Don’t ask me to go to mass and I won’t ask you to sacrifice ugly babies with me (because that’s what Atheists do. We’re haters all of all that is good and pure, right?).  I’m not the kind of person who enjoys telling society what to do, nor do I think that my personal way is the only right way. Abortion? Meh, I wouldn’t do it but, I’m also not a 14 year old who was raped by a relative or any number of other reasons a woman would choose that. Until I walk a day in her shoes, I can’t say so when it comes ballot time? Hell yes! Kill the babies. Gay Marriage? Again, not my cup of tea BUT, if in 15 years my son wants to marry a man, I pity the bastard who tells my son that he can’t love who he wants.

A few months ago, I read a story about an atheist woman who lost her husband. He had died and she was having a hard time reaching out to the atheist community because there really isn’t as wide a net for secular resources as there are religious based resources. It was only then that the reality of my life really dawned on me. And quite frankly, was anything ever going to send me running back to the almighty, this would have been it.  Someone ( a “believer” ) callously commented that “He’s dead. He’s in the ground. Get over it and move on.”  It enraged me at first. It sounded terrible. Who the Hell did he think he was saying that kind of crap to a widow? Then I got it. That’s exactly what it is. That’s what it means not to believe anymore. I don’t get to see Grandma Mary on the other side. She’s not watching me smiling, she could give a shit less because, she’s gone.   In his attempt at a snarky comment, he hit the nail right on the head.

I started to take a really hard look at what the differences are. I suddenly realized that as passionate as I am about my place in the world and being a true atheist in every other regard, this sucked…bad.  I started to think about the things that my Christian life had promised me. I was promised salvation, a place in heaven, an eternity with my loved ones, that you “never have to say good-bye” because they’re on the other side waiting for you.  My new life though, my reality, was much harder to swallow. That was my first bitter taste of atheism. The reality of the atheist afterlife is the same as the atheist “before-life”, there is none.  You didn’t exist  before you were created and you won’t after you’ve lived. I started to think about the end of my life and the lives of those I love.  I got pretty damned depressed, quite frankly. I thought about my son. My beautiful child that I adore more than anything in the world, what if I got into the car today, died in an accident and I never saw him again? My husband, the man I have loved every day since I was 16, would he ever really know how much?  I began to think about the things I’d never get to say, the things I shouldn’t have said, and I tried to anticipate how I’d feel those final moments. 

Several nights later, we were watching one of my favorite shows and Ann Druyan (Carl Sagan’s widow) came on. A woman I have immense respect for and inevitably, Carl came up in the conversation.  I remembered something she had said more specifically about Carl earlier and I dug it up off the internet (IF there is a god, his name is “google”). I keep it handy for when I need it, when the reality of life becomes little much to bear:

When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me-it still sometimes happens-and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous-not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time - that we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful. . . . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”
I have yet to revisit my initial trepidation about my place in the world and things beyond my control. I’m pretty thrilled with the fact that even when I was faced with great temptation, to “take the easy way out” I still took the realist way out.

I know that many believers think that our lives are easy. We’re supposed to be selfish, self-centered devil worshipers.   To that, all I have to say is: Imagine for a moment that you’re wrong.  Imagine that there is no promise of an afterlife.  Can you really say that you lived your life just for the sake of being a good person? Can you say that you lived your life to please nobody but the people who truly mattered? Can you say that you lived without judging others?

Nobody is perfect. But living a true life and not being afraid to ask questions, and living for the moment, loving people while they’re here, is the most fantastic way to live.  I know you pity us, but please don’t. Walk a mile in our shoes. Live 1 day for yourself, thinking and doing for yourself, then you will truly be free.